May 26 2010

Don’t Know If I Can Trust You

Category: 5 Phrases that Cause Relationship Blackoutadmin @ 2:00 pm

This is as close to the “death knell” as you may get.  If you or your significant other iterate the subject words, be afraid…be very afraid.  Okay, when trust is point blank lost, it is a terrible thing.  But if someone flat out says that they cannot trust you…AT LEAST YOU KNOW.   But the speculation behind the subject phrase can be killer.  One of the worst feelings in the world is not knowing what your lover is thinking or feeling.  At this juncture, you  are going to always feel that you’re on trial, unless of course they decide to convey the fact that they do trust you again.  Hmmm…”do trust you again.”  What is the likelihood of that happening when the average person finds it hard to recover when they feel they cannot trust someone?  Not impossible; but highly improbable. 

So whether you are the deliverer or receiver of the subject phrase, you are either potentially cutting it off, or possibly being cut off.  Either way, things may never be the same after this.  So if you do not mean it, please do not say it.  You never know how one’s pysche is affected by that powerful phrase.

May 26 2010

I’m Having My Doubts

Category: 5 Phrases that Cause Relationship Blackoutadmin @ 1:46 pm

Whew!  Once you or your mate iterates the subject phrase, you can just about guarantee that speculation is going to grow into a VERY thick cloud – in somebody’s  mind.  Having doubts equates to one “teetering.”  When one teeters, confidence is certainly not at an all-time high.  Once confidence as been reduced, in some instances, it’s quicker to slip further back than it is to strengthen.  A person cannot see what is positive because their attention has been diverted to “red flags.”  Heavy attention to red flags begets the birth of more red flags.  Next thing you know, a white flag will be waving amid the red ones.  Although “I’m having my doubts” does not necessarily signify the end is near, it has the power to make you think the end is near.

May 26 2010

Techno Dating: Virus #3 (FPFCV)

How do any of us know that just by looking at a profile, if a person’s pics are genuine and if their profile information is accurate/real?  There is really no way to know, unless you already know that person.  But once you get taken by someone’s profile alone, you may automatically become a victim of Fake Pic/Fake Creds Virus.  Of course society always implies that “beauty is only skin deep.”  Regardless of how true that statement may be or not, people are attracted to attractive pictures on websites.  Of course many dating sites have it designed to where you look at the pic first, then go into a profile.   People are not intrigued to look into the profiles of not so attractive pics.  The pics reel you in, then you’re exposed to someone saying they are a doctor, or certified in this/that, or better yet, they are a specialist in a popular field.  At this juncture, the only thing you can do is take their word for it.  Otherwise there is nothing else for you to base your assessment on.

May 26 2010

Techno Dating: Virus #2 (PRV)

Perfect Representative Virus (PRV) is the most common of the Techno Dating viruses.  Just think, even when you meet someone physically for the first time, more than likely you’ll meet that person’s representative.  In essence, no flaws exposed, great mood, and great atmosphere to go along with it.  With this being the case, what makes you think that you won’t meet the perfect representative on an online dating site?  Because fancy words and nice pics are common place when it comes to techno dating.  You are first attracted to the profile pic (let’s just be honest).  Then there’s the verbiage talking about someone liking simple things in life, being down to earth, and loving the outdoors.  Next thing you know, someone has been swooned to the point at which they divulge their phone number, address, and other information…all to a person  hiding behind that electronic wall…representative I should say.

May 24 2010

#4 OF 10 Things…The Playoffs and Yard Work

Category: 10 Things Both Sexes Wish Women Knew About Menadmin @ 1:59 pm

With the exception of the playoffs and yard work, a man will not purposely tune his woman out.   We all know that the sense of timing in males and in females can be 180 degree-like different.  With this being the case, it is not uncommon for a woman to make a suggestion to her man about something necessary; but not having to do with anything  currently in which he is engaged.  Like for instance, during the Major League Baseball penant races, a man may be glued to his favorite lounge chair with a cold one in hand tuned into a game that’s tied at the bottom of the 9th inning while the bases are loaded, and the count 3-2.  If he’s in a trance, it may be good to allow him to remain in it ’til the game is through.  Otherwise, that spiel you gave him about helping your mother train her dog for a show was probably as good as not being said.

May 24 2010

#3 OF 10 Things…Honey Do’s

Category: 10 Things Both Sexes Wish Women Knew About Menadmin @ 1:43 pm

Honey do’s during bad times equate to honey don’ts.  That’s right.  In some households honey do’s during pleasant times are challenging enough.  But during and between arguments, assigning tasks for hubby may not be the best of  times in which to do it.  Let’s face it, hubby is already probably not in the best of moods after a heated discussion.  So it is perhaps better for the state of your sanity to delay painting the kitchen and re-papering the bathrooms until things simmer a little.

May 22 2010

An Immediate Loss for Both

Category: Breaking Up: Immediately There is No Winneradmin @ 6:24 pm

Even if you are breaking up for the better; during the point of reckoning it is never really a nice thing for the deliverer or the recipient.  Why is this?  Well for the most part, the recipient just got rejected, fired, given the axe, what have you.  So this is in no way, shape, form or fashion a pleasant experience by any stretch for them.  On the other hand, regardless of the circumstance, the deliverer has to deal with pressure or tension knowing that this person who they rejected is possibly very angry with them.   Thus there is a feeling of damned if you do and damned if you don’t…especially if the deliverer is a caring person. 

Of course over time, the tension is diminished as both parties move on with their lives.  Sometimes things can be patched up (frienship wise) depending on what type of people they are.  This can happen so smoothly that often time each party forgets what transpired during the actual moments of the breakup.

Breaking up is a necessary act in the world of relationships; however during the breakup conversation, whether it is right or wrong; do not expect a bed of roses.

May 22 2010

TTD #2 TWU Syndrome

Category: 3 Textually Transmitted Diseasesadmin @ 5:52 pm

Just about one of the biggest mistakes one could make in the world of texting…is texting while uncertain (TWU Syndrome).  It is very difficult to gauge tones, moods, or attitudes via electrons.  During times of uncertainty the speculation can lead to assuming.  It is unhealthy for your relationship if you and your significant other try and work issues out via text.  It doesn’t have to be an extreme argument.  It can be a simple matter where both parties are trying to determine what is what.  If the back/forth continues, it could lead to both parties texting messages out of frustration rather than communicating directly with their counterpart.

Now would be a great time to use the “other” feature on your phone…THE PHONE.

May 17 2010

#1 Alcohol May do The Talking

(Note:  This blog is not intended to give bars, lounges, or those who frequent them, a bad rap.)

People have different reasons for frequenting bars.  Some like to unwind with one nice drink, and just go home…by themselves.  Others who may be social seekers would perhaps go to see whom and what they can see and let the chips fall where they may.  At any rate, a bar is a bar is bar.  Then you have those who allow themselves to be victims of the environment.  In essence, they do not have bad intentions; but if something “not good” were to come out of it, then they just chalk it up to “coming with the territory.”  And finally, there are others who make no secret about their intentions when then step into a bar…”Ready – aim – fire – hit – capture.”

Have you noticed?  There may be more than a few people telling you things you want to hear.  Better yet, you may get compliments that are on the cutting edge of an outright lie (respectfully).  Why is this?  Hmmm, well for starters remember you are in a bar.  People do not go to bars to sip coffee, soda, or water…not on the regular anyway.  They are there to sip on something that can perhaps either knock the edge off, give them an edge, or in some instances to get flat out wasted.  Of course sober logic and logic under the influence are two completely different things.  The latter is probably what you’ll be on the receiving end of  when frequenting a bar.  False feelings, lead to false promises, but perhaps REAL problems. 

At bars, when alcohol talks, people listen.  And if people listen “and” give in, trouble is sure to ensue.  Thus instead of advancing, you’ve set yourself back further than you were when you originally set foot in there in the first place.

May 17 2010

TTD #1 TWA Syndrome

Category: 3 Textually Transmitted Diseasesadmin @ 8:44 am

If you want a sure fire way to burn the relationship bridge down, go ahead and text while angry (TWA).  It’s already bad enough that you’re relying on electrons to solve a personal matter.  But now you’re sending messages whose tones are difficult to interpret, except the ones in “ALL CAPS.”  Naturally the recipient may be inclinded to send you a reply back in “ALL CAPS.”  Now there are two angry people Blackberry Blasting each other and not making any progess whatsoever.  So much easier just to pick up the phone or meet them face to face and TALK.

Do not late TWA Syndrome take out your relationship.

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